Sunday, January 17, 2010

ROTTEN TO THE GORE

Not really a fan of Vice magazine, but I dug up this oldie from their website, about the shirt I drew for MIDNIGHT. Some parts are funny.

NEW YORK - CAN'T STOP THE VOMIT


Sometimes art and poetry can align in magical, unanticipated ways. Occasionally, the triumphs of human expression can surpass your wildest fantasies and touch on every sensory nerve ending in total bliss. When this genius phenomenon stimulates all the prime faculties at once, its basically like a giant pentagram illuminated by purple fire on your freaking face. Its like three corners of the hot pink neon triangle of sight, sound, and touch have been galvanized with lasers and the head and heart just violently explode from the forces of beautiful truth. This beautiful truth is the perfect synthesis of piquant imagery and verse’s supreme mastership. Usually, this matrimony of imagery and word is crypted in galleries for folks to admire from safe distances. But, this time, you can say fuck off to that gallery shit and roll like an advanced professor of the poetic arts with this masterwork on your tits. Behold! It is NOW Midnight!

First of all, this font is flawless! It’s human. I can feel that fist gripped around the blackest sharpie digging out the best slash to make that G! Not to mention the awesome as fuck letter D and the slightly upside down crossed T. This is simple, direct and perfect craftsmanship of lettering. Bathroom wall style. Perfect!

Second, we have a super sexy demon-witch-temptress with dragon wings punctuated with talons, huge boobs, agape skeleton face in a summoning, half-curtsy gesticulation stance from inside a scaldy, steaming cauldron atop a red reversed pentagram! Awesome, fierce, and feminist! I am so happy she has pubic hair. I'm going to assume the artist is male because of the boob rendering being slightly on the fantastic size, but the shading for pubic hair tells me he has been to that nice place before. Plus, her hips, waist, and flowy hair are all sexy too. She also sorta has wispy bangs like Mischa Barton. Cute.



So, after all that kickin’ bunz art and delinquent font—which are inspirational and harmonious in every way imaginable—plus a little erotic wicked shit, we have the word “midnight.” It is always scary, even when uttered by the tiniest child or oldest of old ladies, and completely melds sex and evil into one abstract generalization for being up to no good. You know that is what we want here! It just gets better. This beautiful masterpiece now also becomes poetry when you exit the room and flash the back of this t-shirt. This is the most perfectly sweet precise refrain for an extra awesome fun-ass, awesome as fuck good time. How could anyone even possibly argue that if you can’t stop the vomit you are absolutely having the best friggin’ time of your garsh derned life? Way better than can’t stop the blood. Totally better than can’t stop the poopy. Remarkably smarter than can’t stop the pus. Profoundly surpasses can’t stop the drool. Although wait, drooling is totally fun.

Here's another oldie from the crypt. My friend at http://ohmars.wordpress.com/ interviewed me a while ago, here's what happened...



Ten Questions With…Josh McAlear


Boston-area tattoo artist and illustrator Josh McAlear eats Boston-area tattoo artists and illustrators and shits burritos. McAlear is a super talented dude and has tattooed the shit out of both Will Smith and Oh Mars. He works out of Redemption Tattoo in Cambridge, MA and has designed for Toxic Holocaust, Motherboar, and Nunslaughter. Josh was cool enough to take some time away from drawing goats to have a round of Ten Questions with RBM. We thank you Josh.

What was the last book you read?

Reign in Blood (33 1/3)
by D. X. Ferris

Why should we hire you?

I tattooed Will Smith (just for the record, I’m not saying I actually tattooed Will Smith).


What is your Bizarro World name?

According to the rules, wouldn’t it just be “Bizarro Josh”? But if I could pick, “Lörd öv the Wretched Earth’s Wörthless Inhabitants”, or “Phinneas” would be cool.

If you could have sex with anyone in history, who would you bone down with (unprotected)?

The inventor of the Ugg Boot. You mean bone down with chainsaws made of fire and napalm, right?

What cartoon villain do you relate with the most?

I see that Fish guy took Skeletor already, so, my second would probably be Nanny from Muppet Babies.

What is your “Making Love” album?

Thor, “Keep The Dogs Away“, or, Muppet Babies, “Opening Theme“.

What is your favorite curse word?

My soon to be wife said, “doody booty” once, that was good. The one word version would be “doodybooty”.

It’s cool that they let you play your favorite Disney soundtrack at work. What is that again?

Oh, you mean “The Emperor’s New Groove?”

Congratulations! Ben & Jerry’s have decided to name an ice cream after you. What’s it called?

“Scottish/Armenian Fro Yo Peace Oph Shite”.

Finally, a round of Fuck, Marry, Kill…which one of these characters would you fuck, which would you marry, and which would you kill: R2-D2, The Iron Giant, Data.

Grow up man.

Fuck-R2-D2.

Marry-The Iron Giant

Kill-Data

In other news, did this yesterday. Don't ask.

Doing this on this guy Brian's chest today. Super good guy, and he loves Judas Priest.


And last but not least, home sweet home...

1 comment:

  1. Hey Josh, This is Adriane Schramm. I wrote the Vice piece on your amazing shirt! I meant every word and it is still the reigning king of all T's that I own. Its awesome and brings me total joy. And, of course so does Midnight too. Thanks for re-posting. It was fun to write. Cheers Sir!

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